ME! THAT'S WHO! And by default, SO DO YOU! YAYYYY!
Now. As you may remember from last year, I have a strange obsession with seeing all the nominated movies prior to the ceremony, for no reason because it's not like I get to vote so who cares. But! I can't help it. It fills my heart with glee.
Usually, this ends with me being frantically behind in February, trying to cram them all in at the last minute. But by this February, we might be embroiled in a financial Apocalypse wherein the great unwashed (read: me, you, former employees of Lehman Bros.) are, say, torching establishments like cinemas in an effort to keep warm/as a means of barbecueing stolen hot dogs, and then what will I do?
So I've been very on top of things this fall, and can advise you on all the Oscar bait movies so far. I'll be giving each one a rating, based on the following scale:
CORRECT--This is really, really, reeeeally good. I cried, or came, or both.
Correct--This is really good. But only one 'really'. I cried, or came, but only one or the other.
Incorrect--This is kind of terrible. I kind of felt like vomiting, or hitting someone.
INCORRECT--This is, like, fucking BULLSHIT. I threw my soda at the screen, defecated on my seat, and stormed out.
I also might do something like, say, a CORRect, or an INCORRect, if I feel the need to split hairs. But you get the idea. Following the rating, I'll give you a short list of reasons why you should see the movie, if any.
First up? A cinematic tragedy. And by 'tragedy,' I don't mean as in genre. I mean as in hotly anticipated film with an impressive pedigree that has turned out to be TERRIBLE.