The Gospel According to John

Should Win/Will Win: Best Supporting Actress Edition

And the nominees are:

                                     

                                                                                                                                                     

• Penelope Cruz in Marion Cotillard Should Be Here in My Place
• Vera Farmiga in I Was a Robot Businesswoman
• Maggie Gyllenhaal in The Fact That There Are No Stills of Me From This Film And We've Had to Use One From Secretary Is Instructive
• Anna Kendrick in Really? 
• Mo'Nique in Ain't None a Y'all Bitchez Has A Chance in Hell

And the Oscar should go to...

Parsing the Golden Globulars: Awards Edition

This was the boringest (not a word, is now) Golden Globulars ever. No one got drunk except for apparent human Weeble Kevin Bacon, nobody made any memorable gaffs, Gervais was just sort of there, nobody other than Mo’Nique (ooh--and RDJ) really gave us any oratorical fireworks, Avatar won best picture and will probably win the Oscar too because God is cruel and also it’s Friday and the Globulars were Sunday so who even cares anymore anyway.

But, we should give credit where credit is due. So let's briefly discuss who won, who lost, who should have won but didn't, and what it all means.

Ladies and Gents, Your First 2010 Oscars Dark Horse

To put it in the most syrupy way possible, my heart is so full of this movie I hardly know where to begin. I saw Precious at the New York Film Festival last weekend—during which I sat behind Michael Moore and spitting distance from Mariah Carey and Miss Sherri Shepherd from our most favorite travesty, TV’s The View, thank you very much—and I haven’t taken in a movie so moving (zing!) in a long, long time. I walked out feeling like I needed to grab everyone who passed me and ask them, “Have you seen Precious?”, just so I could have someone to talk about it with. If for no other reason than the revelatory performance of newcomer Gabourey Sidibe, I implore you: GO. SEE. PRECIOUS.