Parsing the Golden Globulars: Awards Edition

This was the boringest (not a word, is now) Golden Globulars ever. No one got drunk except for apparent human Weeble Kevin Bacon, nobody made any memorable gaffs, Gervais was just sort of there, nobody other than Mo’Nique (ooh--and RDJ) really gave us any oratorical fireworks, Avatar won best picture and will probably win the Oscar too because God is cruel and also it’s Friday and the Globulars were Sunday so who even cares anymore anyway.

But, we should give credit where credit is due. So let's briefly discuss who won, who lost, who should have won but didn't, and what it all means.