Well, kidlets. The world is burning down around us, but so what! Because Sunday is the Gay Super Bowl! (That’s the Oscars. ‘citing, isn’t it? I know! Uh!)
Which means it’s time for our second annual Should Win/Will Win! Yayyyyy!
It's a tough competition this year, folks. The Should Win part, in particular. But even the Will Win is a bit tricky. Granted, some of it can be summed up thusly:
- Delightful English Girl Whom of Late the English Have Suddenly, for Some Reason, Turned On
- Former Spouse of Madonna Pulling a Hilary Swank
- Injuns (tikka masala, not teepees)
But the rest is all a bit murky, no?
Ah! But! This year, I’ll be utilizing the stats skills of Mr. Nate Silver! Hurrah! He’s the one who basically fortune-told the whole presidential election using math. Or maths, if you’re British.
So he’s like even more omnipotent than Our Lady of Intergalactic Resplendence!
Anyway, he’s figured the whole ceremony out, and if you’re smart, you’ll set your Oscar pool clocks by his watch and then win lots of dough at work, instead of that douchebag suburban commuter lady who always leaves those passive-aggressive notes in the lunch room and wins the Oscar pool every year because she has no idea what’s going on and saw none of the movies and just guesses on every category and gets lucky! Yay!
So jump the jump and we’ll try to get this sorted.