The Gospel According to John

A Bit of Catch-Up

Here are some truly gorgeous items that I've been holding onto for a bit because I haven't had time to post them.

First up: Stars Royals--They're Just Like Us!

Parsing the Golden Globulars: Fashion Edition, Book Three: Pretty Pretty Princess

There are plenty of choices for Pretty Pretty Princess. I feel Jayma Mays deserves a mention. Also, Olivia Wilde. Toni Collette. Emily Blunt.

But all those bitches can suck it. Because without a doubt, the best dressed was

Monica Gellar.

Yes, yes, I can hear you all bellowing "the fuck?" and "bitch please", but that just serves to underline your ignorance. You should really take the time to get all the facts before you make a judgment like this. Nobody has short-listed this as "Best Dressed", and they do so at their peril. Why? Because this dress is the creation of a designer whose inspiration is divine, the handiwork of the Creator, the stitchery of the universe's seamstress.

Who created this dress?

unsere Dame der intergalaktischen Großartigkeit!!!!!

Die ewige Großartigkeit von ist ihr der kosmischen Wohltätigkeit weltweit erkannt worden und hat seine Weise in das Herz von Heidi Klum gebildet! 

Sagte Klum: "In der Welt von Art und Weise, sind Sie entweder innen, oder Sie sind heraus. Victoria ist innen. Andere können das runway." 

TO YOUR KNEES, YE FAITHFUL!

Hail! Hail! And behold her transcendent radiance!

Lift up your hearts, and arise in worshipful mirth!

Yield your will to her redemptive luminosity!

For today, dear readers, 35 years ago, unto us the intergalactic beneficence of our leader, She of Celestial Resplendence, Victoria Adams a Beckham, was bestowed.

In her 35 years, Posh, in her limitless omnipotence, has penetrated our souls and hearts with celestial benevolence and a surpassing ardor that can only be sensed in the presence of her nirvanic munificence.

Bow to her, and extol her cosmic splendor! Yield to her omniscient supremacy! Let us shout from the mountaintops her beatific eminence! For she is worthy of our exaltation!

To exercise devotion to Our Lady of Infinite Grandeur and honor her on this most holy of days, let us not commence with the baking of cakes, for as we know, She of Divine Mammarial Supremacy does not eat. She is nourished by the glory of her might!

Rather, let us join hands and unite as one consciousness as we duck, scream, and hold!