The Gospel According to John

Should Win/Will Win: Best Actress Edition

And the nominees are:

• Sandra Bullock in A Dior Sunglasses Ad from the September 1992 Issue of Town & Country
• Dame Helen of Mirren in Helen Get Your Gun
• Carey Mulligan in SERIOUSLY STOP READING THIS AND GO SEE THIS MOVIE RIGHT NOW
• Gabourey Sidibe in I Secretly Fantasize She Comes Over Each Week to Watch Glee and Eat Pizza Rolls
• Chicken Wings McGee in Yet Another Mediocre Movie that Would Have Been Insufferable Without Meryl Streep

And the Oscar SHOULD go to...

Ladies and Gents, Your First 2010 Oscars Dark Horse

To put it in the most syrupy way possible, my heart is so full of this movie I hardly know where to begin. I saw Precious at the New York Film Festival last weekend—during which I sat behind Michael Moore and spitting distance from Mariah Carey and Miss Sherri Shepherd from our most favorite travesty, TV’s The View, thank you very much—and I haven’t taken in a movie so moving (zing!) in a long, long time. I walked out feeling like I needed to grab everyone who passed me and ask them, “Have you seen Precious?”, just so I could have someone to talk about it with. If for no other reason than the revelatory performance of newcomer Gabourey Sidibe, I implore you: GO. SEE. PRECIOUS.