Parsing the Golden Globulars: Fashion Edition, Book One: Really?

In keeping with the ceremony, there wasn’t really anyone who REALLY jumped out and looked amazing, and there wasn’t really anyone who REALLY jumped out and looked awful. There were no real incidents. Everything was just sort of fine or kind of not fine but really not all that bad and whatever my God I think the weird untelevised writers’ strike Globulars were more interesting than this year’s.

Be that as it may, just because the bar wasn’t raised particularly high or low does not mean everyone was beneath praise or above reproach.

In fact, my day-after-Globulars began, upon logging into my email, with IMs awaiting me from my dear darling Camaryn (sister to the ever-witty Miss Kate and the victim--or beneficiary?--of this), which went thusly:

Which seems like as good a place to start as any. Ahoy!