Ahem. This is what's often referred to as a FUCKING JOKE.

In case you've been otherwise engaged: this is the new cover, released today (or yesterday, depending on when you're reading) of The New Yorker, one of America's--if not the world's--most liberal magazines. Like ever.

Now honestly. Take a good long look at this and tell me--knowing now, as you do, that this is a LIBERAL MAGAZINE routinely filled with articles written by rabid, foaming-at-the-mouth liberals and read by scores and scores of white-apologist baby-killing fag-enabling faggots like me and you--if you think, in all honesty and sincerity, that this is anything other than A FUCKING JOKE.

I mean come on! It's lampooning the stupidity of not only the Right, but the absolute--pardon my sophomoricity, but you should be used to it by now--RETARDS that continue to believe that Barack Obama is a Muslim and Michelle Obama is, you know, a militant Jackie Brown-cum-Che Guevara or something. 

And by the way, lest you react to that with the surprise that my roommate did--YES. These people that are convinced Obama is a jihad-declaring, bin Laden-fellating, female-circumcising towel head DO still exist. 

Shocking, I know. I don't get it either.

Anyway--people are ENRAGED about said cover, screaming about how racist and insensitive and irresponsible it is, about how it's only serving to shore up the perception that Obama is--well, a jihad-declaring bin Laden-fellating female-circumcising towel head--and that this is the ULTIMATE betrayal by what is supposed to be a bastion of Liberal sensibility.

ARE.

YOU.

FUCKING.

KIDDING ME?!?!

Now I agree that this cover, in some ways, will play into the hands of idiots. Sure. But let me ask you something:

How many braindead, redneck idiots read the fucking NEW YORKER? I'm wagering, mmm....NONE. NONE AT ALL. NOT A SINGLE ONE. ZERO. ABSOLUTELY NONE. NOT EVEN ONE. NONE. 

No seriously. NONE.

When did this country become so rabidly politically correct and intellectually bankrupt that a clever bit of irony turns into the greatest assail on Obama's campaign...well, ever? What the hell is going on here? Have really reached the point where, as Gawker put it so simply and yet so perfectly, "people refuse to understand obvious satire because they don't trust anyone else to understand obivious satire" such that we can't even USE obvious satire, irony, and sarcasm as part of a greater discourse?

Seriously? Say it ain't so. Please. I beg you. I'm looking at you, HuffingtonPost.com, who, under the snarky, irreverent auspices of Arianna Huffington, I would expect to know better.

To me, this is a lot like gays using the word "faggot" with irony. Now, I have to admit--while I am guilty of bandying "faggot" about like it's my job--it's not NECESSARILY the best idea. But--as cliche as it is--the whole diabolical plan of using slurs with irony is to take away their power--or rather, to shift it, right? I mean, think about it: again, it's a cliche, but black folks can call each other the "N" word, but the rest of us can't, right? And I can call myself a faggot, and my top echelon hags can call me a faggot (even though not all of them do)--hey, it makes me laugh--but if Average Joe on the street calls me a faggot, he'll get my faggoty fist in his mouth (well, no he won't, he'll get a dirty look and a lot of shit-talking, because I've never been in a fight before, but you get where I'm going). It's--in theory, anyway--cutting the opponent off at the legs--you can't hurt me now because I robbed you of your weapon. 

This is, to an extent, the same thing. Oh yeah, Right Wing asshats? Want to keep propagating rumors you know damn good and well aren't true? Want to keep using the politics of fear to try to sway the election toward McCain? Oh yeah?

Well, here you go: the gesture you all WANT to make, but can't, because you'd be accused of--to form only the tip of the iceberg--bigotry, and never live it down. Game. Set. Match.

But of course no one can see the forest for the trees, because--just like using "faggot" or the "N" word with irony--it communicates to some people--mainly, people who are incapable of grasping the concept of irony and, more importantly, ARE NEVER GOING TO CHANGE THEIR MINDS ANYWAY--that this is all okay. Which, granted, has SOME validity.

But let's be real for a minute: anyone who thinks that the cousin-marrying, inbred retards who refuse to believe that Obama is not a--say it with me--jihad-declaring bin Laden-fellating female-circumcising towel head--were eventually going to come around and now ALL THAT PROGRESS HAS BEEN DE-RAILED AND NOW WE'RE GOING TO LOSE THE ELECTION BECAUSE OF THE INSENSITIVITY AND IRRESPONSIBLE POSTURING OF WHAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE ONE OF AMERICA'S MOST TRUSTWORTHY LIBERAL PUBLICATIONS SO BATTEN DOWN THE HATCHES BECAUSE NOW WE'VE LOST A HUGE CHUNK OF THE ELECTORATE AND WE'RE TOTALLY GONNA LOSE NOW SO EVERYBODY TAKE COVER GAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

is mentally impaired and shouldn't be allowed to vote. And, incidentally, is proving The New Yorker's point about fear-mongering.

And, incidentally, is part of the reason the Left has a reputation for being a bunch of whingeing pussies.

And, incidentally, is probably doing MORE damage to the undecided swing voters' opinion of the Left than the cartoon ever could.

So, pat yourselves on the back, those of you in a lather of righteous indignation. Way to stand for the moral high ground.

Comments

[Donna]

I believe I heard you use the word faggot just the other day...

[jen]

ahhhhh.... fuck! just seeing it without an asterisk makes me breathe in delicious breaths of... i don't know... fuckness? thank you, thank you, thank you, and fuck fuck fuckity loo!!!

[choolie]

Fantastic post.

[charles Laquidara]

I love this. I'm stealing it from you, posting it on my blog http://bigmattress.com/weblog/ and not even giving you credit on my blog because if I thought of it before you, I would have put it up first.
Ha.
-charles

[JimHorwitz]

Charles and Duane, you are the only bastions of sanity in an insane world.